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Old Quotes/UKC/Third Page

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 "We come from a civilised country, where anyone who says anything against you gets twatted." - Richard.

 "Evening comes...." - Rob.

"Bugger off, evening." - Mark.

 "That's quite a useful box. We can put anything we don't like  in it?" - Mark.

"How big is it? Can we fit one of Stuart's characters in it?" - Anthony.

 "I come to seek adventure." - Ivan.

"Next door." - Anthony.

 "I'm going to slip back into the shadows." - Stuart.

"On your horse?" - Rob.

 "I'm going to put my sword through his throat, then slap him  around a bit to see if he wakes up." - Stuart.

 "I must decide what to do with my 6 foot by 2 foot piece of crocodile skin." - Rose.

 "Like an alien with a large tailor." - Mark.

 "I warn you, I have powerful friends." - Stuart.

"What are your powerful friends going to do?" - Mark.

"Attend his funeral." - Anthony.

 "I have killed many of your kind." - Stuart commencing  diplomatic negotiations.

 "I am subtle, remember. I just kill everyone I meet." - Mark.

 "They don't notice his smoking chest at all?" - Adam.

 "First he's going to die, then he's going to want to die." - Anthony.

 "Can you heal her?" - Stuart.

"As you turn round to say that, her head explodes." - Mark.

"No." - Adam.

 "We might be able to ride out the storm in the hut." - Stuart.

 "I grab the dwarf by the beard and drag him away." - Stuart.

 "He looks very out of it... especially with the hole in his  chest." - Mark.

 "Actually, this'll make me a better archer." - Stuart, after losing a finger.

 "We have come to see the oracle." - Stuart.

"You are looking at him." - Mark.

"You were looking at the curtains, weren't you?" - Adam.

(Note: The PC in question had just been looking at the curtains.)

 "Sounds like an interesting challenge for a party of bold adventurers." - Stuart.

"However, we on the other hand...." - Anthony.

 "His castle is full of dead people." - Jan.

"Define dead here...." - Anthony.

"Are they alive dead people?" - Dave 1.

 "I'm backing towards the window." - Stuart.

 "Have you got tongues?" - Stuart.

"I've got one." - Adam.

 "What's written on their drum?" - Richard.

"This is a drum." - Richard 2.

 "Drop your weapons." - Stuart.

"That might take some time." - Richard.

 "Don't go into the sewers." - Adam.

"We're in the sewers." - Stephen.
"Oh yeah." - Adam.

 "At least I got my watch back." - Richard 2, after losing his right arm.

 "Can you roll your... oh, shit." - Stuart.

"Do you have oh shit skill?" - Adam.

 "Is there actually any disadvantage to losing an arm?"  - Richard 2.

 "You don't get crossed off the book of grudges just because you're dead." - Richard.

 "I'm clapping my mouth over her mouth. I mean my hand." - Richard.

 "He's drooling slightly from one mouth." - Rob.

 "Are there any torturers in here?" - Richard.

"Yes, there are some on the walls, but they're not lit." - Rob.

 "Have you seen Shockwave around?" - Stuart.

"Not since he died, no." - Adam.

 "I'll just slide into the table." - Stuart.

"This person has just slid over and knocked the table over."  - Anthony.

 "So, introduce me to your friend." - Stuart.

"This is my friend." - Adam.

 "We'll finish our meal before we discuss dinner." - Stuart.

 "Can you dodge throwing weapons?" - Stuart.

"Not after they've killed you, no." - Ian.

 "What would a psychologist make of him?" - Richard 2.

"A risotto would be nice." - Stephen.

 "Here, take this. It's an Ares Squirt gun filled with atropine; it should disorientate him." - Stuart.

"Here, take this. It's a machine gun; it might disorientate him a bit more." - Stephen.

 "I'm looking for a book." - Anthony, then proceeding to name the book.

"That'll cost 15,000 gold." - Jan.

"Do you have that in paperback?" - Anthony.

 "My brother was the son of the high priest." - Richard.

"So you're presumably the son of the high priest as well." -  Dave 1.

 "There's someone sitting at a desk, he has bald hair." - Mark.

 "Will he let us have it?" - Rob, talking about a demon guarding a box.

"He would rather kill you and consume your souls." - Mark.

"That's a no, then?" - Dave 1.

 "Oh, it's in my legs - oh, that's alright, I've got legs." - Rose, talking about the hit location of a blow.

 "I haven't finished my drink yet. Go away when I've finished." - Stuart.

 "This ring comes from an ancient source, made from the greatest smiths..." - Stuart.

 "I don't think that was supposed to happen." - Stuart, after the sea rises up and swallows a ship.

 "I've heard tales of attackers being travelled." - Mark.

 "What's wrong with your right arm? Is it decapitated?" - Mark.

 "Red, white or wine?" - Mark.

 "It would be useful to have someone responsible there." - Anthony.

"I'm responsible." - Adam.
"Yes; it's what you're responsible for that bothers me." - Anthony.

 "Drop your weapons and move away from the girl!" - Stuart, at a point when no character was anywhere near the person in question.

 "Hang on; we made a perception roll to see the sniper, and those who succeeded heard a van coming?" - Adam.

 "Every now and again, I'll butcher a mouse." - Jan

 "All of his insides have turned into jelly, and he's gone all squidgy." - Stuart, as party doctor.

"That's your medical opinion, is it?" - Adam.

 "I wouldn't start arguing with the head of the military about this, as he's very titchy." - Stuart.

 "What you did was send 5 people to their deaths." - Mark.

"Well, it was supposed to be 12 originally." - Stuart. 

 "Only this party would go in to kill someone and end up having breakfast with him." - Anthony.

 "Why did you break into my home?" - Mark

"The window was open. We thought you wanted us to come in." - Richard. 

 "What did you do to him?" - Stuart

"He was dead, so I cut his head off." - Richard 2. 
 "Did you see anything whilst you were in the hut?" - Al.

"An uninteresting floorboard, some clothes, some kitchen knives, a cuddly toy, a video recorder...." - Snowy. 
 "I'll climb in the window... hang on, I'll try the door first." - Dave 2.

"The door opens." - Mark. 
 "You see a sign saying 'Warning: The map ends here. Please turn back.'" - Stuart.

 "You approach the monolith. It's basically a, er... what's the word?" - Mark.

"Monolith?" - Stuart. 
 "You don't use a magic sword to sharpen a tree." - Dave 1, after a PC wished to borrow a sword to do just that.

 "I'll clap my hand over his mouth, and ask him who Baron Kharkov is." - Rose, talking about a yelling prisoner.

"Mmmmmm." - Mark. 
 "What's the password?" - Mark, as skeleton guard, to a PC who greatly resembled the castle owner.
 "I need no password." - Anthony.
 "Tell him there's a new password." - Adam (whispering).
 "The new password is 'penguin'." - Anthony.
 "Penguin?" - Mark.
 "Very good. You may pass." - Anthony; at which the skeleton walked past him and off into the countryside. 
 "Line of sight doesn't mean you have to be able to see it." - Richard 2.

 "I can get you one in two days really cheaply, or I can get you one in a few weeks but it'll be really expensive." - Stuart.

 "There's flowers and potplants everywhere." - Stuart.

"But not one within the other?" - Anthony. 
 "I can get you one in two days." - Stuart.

"I don't want one in two days; I want one in a few weeks!" - Mark. 
 "At 8 o'clock, at various different times...." - Stuart.

 "If you'll just take the elevator up to the top floor...." - Stuart.

"Can't it take us up instead?" - Adam. 
 "They're with me." - Adam, as the party enters an office building.
 "Who are you?" - Stuart.
 "He's with me." - Anthony.
 "And she's with me." - Stephen.
 "And he's with me." - Mark.
 "Are we all with you?" - Stephen.
 "No, you're with the Woolwich." - Adam. 
 "Could you check your weapons with the security guards, please." - Stuart.

  "Yep, got them." - Adam.