Old Quotes/UKC/Sixth Page

"...hair on the back of her neck." - Stuart.
"Which neck?" - Richard.

 "They say if you drink too much water you die." - Stuart.

"Yeah, it's called drowning." - Richard 2.

 "No! No! You're not supposed to chop my leg off like that!" - Richard.

"You're supposed to chop it off like this!" - Anthony.

 "We'll stable the mercenaries." - Stuart.

 "I see a long and happy life ahead." - Anthony, as fortune teller telling Stuart's fortune.

"That's a failed die roll." - Stephen. It was.

 "The group without you in it." - Stephen, discussing which part of the party was being dealt with.

"No it isn't." - Richard 2.
"(Mimes shooting Richard 2) Bang! The group without you in it." - Stephen.

 "Right, who's driving?" - Stuart.

"Aaaah!" - Stephen.

 "Which of you's got the broken leg, then?" - Stuart.

"The one who's hobbling." - Stephen.

 "I can't drive because I used to think I was blind." - Richard 2, after removing his blind flaw.

 "OK, important question. What city are we in again?" - Joe.

 "Is this a deserted alley with no-one else around?" - JP.

"Only the other people." - Stuart.

 "You know Jonathan? You know what's happening? Grey tendrils are ripping through his soul and causing him excruciating pain at random intervals. Cool or what?" - Joe.

 "He staked me... in the middle of broad daylight!" - Stuart, as a vampire trying to explain his actions to the local vampire police.

 "Colourless, odourless, tasteless." - Richard.

"And completely non-toxic. The perfect poison." - Stuart.

 "You can't meld three fetishes together. (Rubs hands) It's a fire  strike. (Rubs hands) It's a mana bolt. (Rubs hands) It's a pile of feathers and a rock. I've broken it." - Joe.

 "Can I test my new spell on you." - Richard 2, innocently.

"What is your new spell?" - Stephen.
"Wither." - Richard 2.

 "What's your name?" - Richard.

"You don't recognise me? You don't recognise Kinn Malice?" - Stuart.
"Kid Malice. Not the Kid Malice?" - Richard.
"No, KINN Malice! Kinn Malice!" - Stuart.

 "We go... kidnap some of the security guards?" - Stephen.

"And?" - Richard.
"Take them back with us instead, and say "We found these. Will these do?"" - Stephen, when the team's job is to extract one particular person.

 "I expect them to have a little bit of initiative, and what do  I get?" - Stephen.

"Them obeying your every command?" - Richard 2.

 "Jinx, you feel a twinge in the back of your neck. Your watcher's dead." - Stuart.

"Why don't you summon a watcher and follow it?" - Richard 2.

 "Get a map for us." - Stephen.

"OK." - Richard.
"You have these three sectors, I have these three sectors. Rip (mimes tearing up the map) . Oops." - Stephen.
"That was a data display unit." - Joe.

 "Physical barrier will light up this entire area with a glue blow." - Stuart.

 "Jinx won't go insane, OK?" - Anthony.

 "I'm looking for..." - Stephen.

"Therese O'Connor." - Ruben, prompting.
"This is Therese O'Connor." - Stephen
. "So if you ask her, it'll confuse her." - Anthony.

 "Are you a secret government operative for Tir Tairngire? 

Cool!" - Anthony, making jokes about the group's behaviour at a social ball.
"I'm a spy for Aztlan! (Pause) Really? So am I... oops." - Joe, doing the same.

 "I thought he was a mage, OK?" - Richard 2.

"Why?" - Stephen.
"Because he's mundane." - Richard 2.

 "I'd say you've got two weeks to live." - Stuart.

"Cool" - Richard.

 "Don't worry, the wound should stop bothering you in five minutes by my count. Could you just sign this death certificate?"  - Joe.

 "This coffee is shit. Can we have a new coffee machine?" - Stephen.

"I made that myself." - Richard 2.
"You're shit. Can we have a new mage?" - Stephen.

 "Who died?" - Richard.

"Hang on. You're not there." - Stuart.
"Oh shit." - Richard.

 "What did you guys get up to last night?" - Richard.

"Oh, you know, this..." - Stephen.
"You were in the bar with me." - Richard.
"...and that." - Stephen.

 "What a night last night." - Richard.

"Yeah, it got all dark, and the sun went out." - Stephen.

 "I kick him in the face." - Stephen, when Richard's character passes out from drinking.

(Later, after he comes round) "Wow, that drink had a kick to it." - Richard.
"Yeah, it left a footprint on your face." - Stephen.

 "After a little while, you come back to your senses." - Stuart, to Stephen.

"After how long? How many years has he been playing?" - Joe.

 "They'll get along like a house on fire." - Richard 2.

"Lots of wailing and screaming and loss of property." - Stephen.

 "Lucky it was so sharp, otherwise he might have cut us badly when he took it out." - Richard 2, talking about a sword he and another character had been impaled with.

 "It's about a week from the escapades of last week." - Richard 2.

 "Prince wants to see you." - Richard 2.

"What about Madonna?" - Stephen.

 "It looks like they've used a cheap laser printer." - Richard 2.

"See -- Sonia's handwriting." - Stephen.

 "The taxi's pulling off." - Richard 2.

"OK, I won't pay then." - Stephen.

 "Is Sonia in? We're her friends." - Joe, after the party has broken down the door and pulled out guns.

 "You tried to pick my pockets!" - Stephen, playing a vampire.

"You always loot the corpses after a fight." - Joe.

 "I'm not here, so stop looking in my eyes." - Joe.

 "She didn't drown - she must be a witch! How can you tell? 

She's standing up, glowing and pointing a finger in our direction - maybe this ducking thing was a bad idea." - Joe.

 "You're re-installing Windows 95 for them?" - Stephen.

"I think he should check for Humanity loss." - Anthony.

 "System error. Windows 95 running." - Stephen.

 "You can mainly only hear the television at the moment." - Richard 2.

"Enhanced hearing." - Stuart.
"You can mainly only hear the television at the moment but louder." - Richard 2.

 "Our pub crawl's slightly different. Other people go there to get drunk. We go there to get drunks." - Anthony, after the party has been going around beating people up to get information.

 "So what are you doing now, then?" - Stephen.

"I'm talking to you on the phone." - Joe.

 "He draws his swords... he sort of crosses them in front of him and says..." - Richard 2.

"Ouch, I just cut my nose off." - Stephen.

 "Look, you evil parasite, get away from that vampire!" - Joe, when a vampire and a lawyer are arguing.

 "It was the 2nd of May last week... it must be the 3rd of May now." - Richard 2.

 "You think I'm going to breach my client's... my ex-client's confedentiality just so you can get him killed?" - Geoff.

"How much?" - Stuart.

 "Thinking back... can I remember if there were any other cars around?" - Stuart.

"It was a car park." - Richard 2.

 "That psycho guy was trying to kill you..." - Stuart.

"Which psycho guy?" - Geoff.
"The one who was trying to drain your blood?" - Stuart.
"That was you." - Geoff.

 "The smell of fine cooking comes wafting out the window, along with the Italian food... the smell of the Italian food." - Richard 2.

 "I don't know what this guy looks like." - Stuart, having a sudden realization after staking out a hotel, waiting for someone.

 "He doesn't look too badly injured... unless you call dead too badly injured." - Richard 2.

 "I've got Empathy, so he might talk to me." - Stuart.

"He is talking to you." - Richard 2.
"Don't interrupt him to say that!" - Anthony, to Stuart.

 "I only broke into your house 'cos I thought you weren't here." - Stuart.

 "Did I tell you about the secret trapdoor in the cellar?" - Stuart.

"I don't have a cellar." - Geoff.
"That's what you think." - Stuart.

 "There's a lost Aztec temple under your house." - Stuart.

"Which is quite a shock in London." - Anthony.

 "You shot someone in the head and the police hassled you?" - Joe.

 "He is trying to go after something we would all like." - Stuart.

"What, ultimate power?" - Joe.

 "We'll split it." - Joe, about carrying an unconscious PC.

 "I follow the ancient philosophical school of cackling maniacally in the corner with a flamethrower." - Joe.

 "Where was I?" - Geoff.

"You don't know. You were unconscious in the boot of the car... then you were carried into the British Museum." - Richard 2.

 "Sedition... what's that?" - Richard.

"I think it's that thing... layers of dirt." - Stephen.

 "You're Troy Greer? The person in that cupboard was looking for you." - Stephen.

 "I don't want to rain on anyone's parade here, but I've been in law enforcement for a while now, and in law enforcement we have this saying that you don't rain on anyone's parade... hang on." - Stuart.

 "Two guys with uzis against this one guy. He's dead. Just say it." - Stuart.

"Only if they shoot." - Anthony.

 "You hear the doorbell." - Richard 2, to Geoff.

"Hang on. He's dead." - Stuart.

 "I think someone's picked your lock." - Stuart.

"Someone may have shot you, but there's worse news. Your lock's been picked." - Stephen.

 "Why didn't the police come round?" - Stuart.

"He didn't call them. He was dead." - Stephen.

 "Thanks. Catch you later?" - Stuart.

"Don't ever say that to criminals when you're a private investigator. It can get taken the wrong way." - Anthony.

 "It look like there may have been another strike by our killer." - Stuart.

"Well, that's alright. As long as he's on strike, there's no problem." - Anthony.

 "Just trying to think how to start the conversation." - Anthony.

"Good evening." - Patricia.

 "Of all the places in all the world, why did you follow me into this public loo?" - Stuart.

 "Is it my fault I set you up?" - Stuart.

 "Troy... who are all your friends, anyway?" - Richard 2.

"Dunno... I thought they were your friends!" - Stuart.

 "I'm not here. I've gone to the pet shop." - Stuart.

"I worry when I hear you say that." - Joe.

 "My saxophone is actually padded with c4." - Stuart.

"Do you actually own anything that isn't?" - Anthony.
"Apart from that box at his home marked c4, no." - Joe.

 "That's gonna hurt." - Stuart, in a plaintive voice, when another PC throws him all the way across a road into a wall.

 "That was my throwing death spoon!" - Joe.

 "So... if I'm injured, you'll have to kill me?" - JP.

"He's a trained medical professional, is Ludwig." - Joe.

 "Ludwig took me to see his friends... and they said they could help me find Pi, but they had to incinerate me first." - Richard 1.

• Old Quotes/UKC/Fifth Page
• Old Quotes/UKC/Seventh Page